Just what is getting bonked?

I learned a new term this week.

Apparently, getting “bonked” isn’t just in cartoons anymore. It’s an actual thing in running that you want to avoid.

Ozaukee High School sophomore Rebecca Hoffmann unfortunately experienced this first hand but she can at least laugh about it now.

Bonking apparently occurs when someone’s glycogen stores are depleted in their muscles and liver, according to several websites, including an article on active.com.

The symptom is a total loss of energy. Poor Rebecca had run so fast she ran out of glycogen near the end of the Division 3 state race but battled hard to cross the finish line and still managed to come in 29th. The willpower is strong in this one.

I could not relate to such an experience aside from perhaps those times I get light headed sprinting from the bathroom back to the couch during a timeout or between innings, a trip that ocassionally entails a Doritos detour through the kitchen. In today’s day and age, that’s really difficult because sometimes they don’t even cut away from the game. They just put it in a little box next to the commercial.

Bonking is also evidently known as hitting the wall. That I am more familiar with. Sometimes on the way back to the couch, I slip and actually hit the wall or nearby stationary object.

This is dangerous because you could spill your Doritos and Barney our shepherd/hound mix would arrive to consume them in record time.

Hoffmann at least only faced one hurdle, albeit a significant one. Cedar Grove-Belgium’s Hadley Heimerman’s side stitch came with her to the state cross country meet, and both of her shoelaces became untied during the race. She still beat out 102 other runners, the majority of whom I’m guessing kept their shoes tied and sides free of pain.

What’s Hadley going to do next season, carry an egg with a spoon during races?

This all pales in comparison to what Ozaukee senior Tyler Mueller told me about the unseasonably warm state meet.

That, he said, was the first time he broke a sweat in cross country in two weeks.

Are you kidding me? He doesn’t sweat when he runs three miles in cool weather?

I sweat during the aforementioned dash back to the couch, even with a pastry pit stop (This comes after the Doritos.).

These distance runners are a different breed.

But I do believe the Ozaukee boys deserved a bronze medal for taking third place at state. Only the top two teams receive plaques, and the Warriors said they’re just fine with that.

But fatty and sweaty over here is not. They give hardware to three places in the Olympics. Third place of 16 teams at state deserves a medal. It likely won’t even get sweat stained.

At least the runners aren’t trying to kill their fans through cardiac arrest. See also: Port Washington High School football playoffs.

I see your hair-raising late scoring drive with one converted fourth down and nail-biting defensive stop two weeks ago and raise you a last-second scoring drive with two long fourth-down conversions — one on a highlight-reel catch by Brady Fleischmann — and a tying touchdown catch on the last play of the game in robust wind and rain. Oh, and they looked to go for two to win but decided to kick on a moment’s notice.

Even real pirates who pillage and plunder are thinking, “Whoa, boys, take it easy.”

The team could change its logo to a blood pressure cuff for the postseason.

I was told umbrellas weren’t allowed at that Whitefish Bay playoff game, despite nearly sideways downpours. I guess they want Mary Poppins to remain a fictional character.

I was in Cedar Grove, which had splendid conditions. If you’re a kite. At least it was dry.

Apparently, it was black out night in the student section. I was hoping for Halloween costumes (Port’s students didn’t disappoint two weeks ago.). I donned my usual Halloween getup, going as the before photo in hair restoration and weight-loss commercials.

The football playoffs included a couple of oddities so far.

Cedar Grove-Belgium beat Mayville, 38-20, in the season opener. Mayville beat St. Mary’s Springs, 35-28, in the third week of the season. St. Mary’s Springs beat Cedar Grove-Belgium, 31-14, last Friday.

Port Washington beat Pewaukee, 15-7, in the second week of the season. Pewaukee beat Plymouth, 34-0, last Friday. Plymouth beat Port, 14-6, in the sixth week of the season.

These all may remain mysteries, such as why the paranormal took over the Travel Channel’s entire program lineup and how the Atlanta Braves won the World Series.

It’s much to ponder. Time for Doritos, the ones loaded with extra glycogen.