By CAROL POMEDAY
Ozaukee Press staff
Posted 5-7-08
When Port Washington mom Gina Feciskonin kisses her sons goodbye and heads to her job as an administrative assistant at Sauk Technology in Saukville, she knows her children are in the best of hands, the same ones that raised her.
Her mother Georgiana Salza of Brown Deer arrives at 8 a.m. every weekday to care for her grandsons — Antonio, 7, Angelo, 5, and Gino, 2 — who call her Nonna. She stays until her daughter or son-in-law Michael come home.
“It’s such a peace of mind for me,” Feciskonin said. “She’s my angel. I do have the most wonderful mother in the world.”
Salza, 66, said she has the most important, fun and rewarding job a grandparent can have.
“I get greeted every day with hugs and kisses and ‘I love you, Nonna,’” Salza said. “I don’t know if you can measure the value of a grandparent caring for a grandchild. The bond between a grandchild and grandparent is very different than between a parent and child. Parents have to worry about their education and all that stuff.
“As a grandparent, you don’t have to be concerned about that. It’s about their security, love, respect and passing on family traditions. To me, it’s an investment in their future.”
Feciskonin sees her children developing the type of relationship she had with her grandparents.
“I was blessed to have exceptional grandparents,” she said. “I’ll always have the wonderful memories of being with my grandparents and the traditions they passed on. Now, my mom and dad are doing the same with my children.”
Her father Peter still works but often stops to visit, take the boys fishing or watch their baseball games.
Salza started caring for her grandchildren when Antonio was born eight weeks premature. She helped her daughter and when she went back to work, Salza took care of her grandson at her home.
“That was challenging. I hadn’t taken care of children since my own,” Salza said. “But it’s like riding a bike. You don’t forget.”
Antonio was in the Birth to 3 program for developmental delays but has since caught up with his peers. When he started crawling, it was easier for Salza to take care of Antonio in his home and she’s been traveling to her “job” ever since.
Each new baby has been a joy, she said.
“Holding a newborn gives you life,” Salza said. “How many grandparents get the opportunity to care for their newborn grandchildren?
“It’s not a walk in the park. I’ve been through terrible-twos and temper tantrums. My friends think I’m nuts. I don’t know if they keep me young or give me more aches and pains. But I think I get more from it than they do.”
All three boys were born by Caesarean section because Feciskonin had low-lying placentas, requiring her to be bedridden for a month or two before each birth.
She almost died a week after Gino was born due to an allergic reaction to an antibiotic. She needed three blood transfusions and had a bone marrow biopsy to rule out leukemia and other diseases.
Salza’s sister came to help with the three boys.
Fortunately, there haven’t been any emergencies with the boys.
Gino is with his grandmother all day. Angelo goes to afternoon kindergarten at Port Catholic School and Antonio is a second-grader at Dunwiddie Elementary School in Port Washington. Salza and Gino drop off Angelo and often pick up both boys. Two to three days a week, their father gets the boys and Salza leaves at 3:30 p.m. Otherwise she is there until Gina comes home at 5:15 p.m.
When all three boys are home this summer, it will be challenging, Salza said. The boys will play outside until 2 or 3 p.m., when their grandmother needs a rest. Then they are allowed to watch television or play video games.
“They rarely nap,” Salza said. “My big thing is their security. I don’t think you can be too careful. I’m probably more stringent than their parents.”
Feciskonin, her husband and mother have similar views on raising children. If there is a conflict, the parents are the boss, Salza said.
“I’m from Old World family values. Gina and Michael are very similar and, hopefully, we can pass these on to the children,” Salza said.
“If we didn’t agree, I don’t think I would be here because it wouldn’t be good for us or the children. If I have any problems, I call Michael and he talks to the boys. They run the show. They’re the parents.”
Feciskonin said the closest her mother comes to giving advice is to ask if she has considered something.
“She never says, ‘This is what you should do,’” Feciskonin said.
Her daughter is an excellent mother, Salza said.
“She’s always either baking cookies or playing games with them,” Salza said. “She knows all these lines and songs from movies and they try to name the movie. Even Gino knows them.”
The families rarely see each other on weekends. The Feciskonins treasure their time together and Salza often visits her son and three granddaughters.
The boys are learning Italian and German traditions from their mother and her family and Ukrainian traditions from their father and his family. Making ethnic foods, such as homemade ravioli from great-grandmother’s recipe for Christmas and Easter, is part of the fun.
Although mother and daughter see each other every day, it’s mostly “Hello, goodbye,” Feciskonin said.
“When my mom and I can finally get together for some girl stuff, we really treasure it,” she said.
