LETTER: Press feature inspires a fable about priest who is on the ball

To Ozaukee Press:

A great article on Father Patrick Wendt by Mitch Maersch and neat photos by Sam Arendt in last week’s Ozaukee Press.

Father Pat in his venerable vestment for Mass and his smiling face in his golf gear were a real upper. Good PR for the priesthood too.

When I sent a copy of this article to Tiger Woods, he responded, “Padre, I  believe you once golfed with Father Pat many years ago. Father Pat teed off first, straight down the fairway, as the ball sailed over 200 yards. You followed him, and your drive limped a mere 20 yards off to the side and landed in heavy brush. So the two of you found the ball on top of a giant ant hill.

“Father Pat said, ‘Guy, I think you should take a penalty stroke and flip the ball back on the fairway.’

“Then, Father Guy, you responded, ‘Pat, I can chip it out without a penalty stroke.’”

So I took my nine iron and swung away. Five swings later, the ball was still in the same spot, but the ant hill was leveled, and hundreds of ants were spattered everywhere. Two lone ants survived next to the ball, which had not moved a single inch. One ant said to the other, “Buddy, if we are going to survive, we had better get on the ball.”

Obviously, the first part of this letter is factual, and the second part is fake news. But I must add that for the past 40 years, Father Pat Wendt has always been a man “on the ball.”

Father Guy Gurath


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Ozaukee Press

Wisconsin’s largest paid circulation community weekly newspaper. Serving Port Washington, Saukville, Grafton, Fredonia, Belgium, as well as Ozaukee County government. Locally owned and printed in Port Washington, Wisconsin.

125 E. Main St.
Port Washington, WI 53074
(262) 284-3494


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